A Mid Winter Night's Dream
by Deya Amaya
Summary: How exactly would you feel if you woke up in the Narutoverse in a genderbent body and feeling attraction towards the one character you can't stand? Crack, hints of Yaoi, Yuri, OC's, dimension travelling and oh! AU Narutoverse! HakuXOCXSasuke and SakuraXHinata. Enjoy!


A/N: My lame attempt at writing crack :P It failed miserably. Be warned, genderbend, sort of Yaoi, Yuri, presence of multiple OC's, dimension travelling etc. etc. :P Enjoy! And thanks a TON Obsidian Butterfly for editing this! *heart*

* * *

Shawn woke up to a world of pain.

His whole body hurt. Including his head, which made it felt a bit like the hangover experience people talked about. But he definitely wasn't hung-over. He never drank that much. Ignoring the throbbing pain in his body, he tried to stand up. Only to trip and fall on his butt.

Shawn was very confused.

Did he trip on his jeans? He looked down, his eyes widening in shock for a moment before he screamed. And screamed. And then screamed some more.

His jeans were gone! And so were his _masculine_ legs. In their place was a bright blue skirt and thin, smooth legs. Shawn never thought he'd ever be in a situation to miss his manly legs but there he was, sitting on his butt in god knows where, wearing a skirt (_of all things!)_ and mourning the loss of his hairy legs.

Slowly recovering from the initial shock of seeing his legs looks so… pretty. He started to carefully examine himself carefully and found, to his growing horror, that everything was wrong. He let out another scream as he realized that some rather important manly assets were missing_._

He'd turned into a girl.

A very girly girl, from the looks of it wearing a white shirt that enhanced his new _feminine assets_. His hair was ridiculously long, falling past his waist in tumbling black waves. And when he screamed, he noticed that his voice had turned into a soprano.

But most importantly, his _manly assets_ were missing!

Gone completely.

As if they had never existed in the first place.

Shawn felt like throwing up.

What on earth had happened? He had ended up in the middle of what looked like a jungle! Which, as a girl, wasn't a very good place to be. Finding out what'd happened to his body would have to wait as he debated on whether he should move and find a less conspicuous place or remain hiding in the safety of the bush that he currently was in.

However, when someone broke the barrier of trees and came into his field of view, the decision was taken out of his hands. Shawn felt his jaw drop.

The intruder was a Shinobi. A Konoha ANBU, to be more specific, with their face covered in a porcelain mask. They were dressed in the standard garb, with a katana poised to attack him…

"Wait!" he yelled, trying to sound as manly as possible though it came out as a squeak. But it served its purpose. The ANBU stopped in his tracks, as if noticing Shawn's appearance for the first time.

"You're not a shinobi," the ANBU said in a low monotone, slowly angling the katana's tip to touch Shawn's chin. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I don't know!" he said truthfully.

By now he was starting to understand where he was. His initial panic was starting to ebb with excitement taking its place. He was in a world where Shinobi, Konoha and ANBU existed. This had to be an alternate universe where _Naruto_ existed!

The ANBU tilted his head at that answer, assessing the look on Shawn's face. And then, in a surprisingly gentle tone, asked, "Are you alright?"

Shawn deliberated. "I'm… lost. I think."

It wasn't a complete lie. He was most definitely lost. He was, after all, in a place he'd only ever visited in his wildest imagination.

Shawn absently wondered about the dark haired Shinobi's identity.

The shinobi in question seemed to deliberate for a moment before he put away the slender blade. "You need to get away from here. This is no place for a lady."

Shawn vaguely wondered if he should be flattered or offended at being called a lady. Shaking his head, he started to talk as a brilliant plan formed in his mind.

"You see, not only am I lost, I've also lost my memory. I can't remember anything about where I'm from or how I got here. All I know is that I don't belong here!" He burst into fake tears for added effect at the end. Covering his face with both of his hands, he peaked up at the man. The Shinobi was frozen in place.

Shawn gasped as the shinobi grabbed his arm and suddenly started dragging him away. He barely had time to protest as he was pulled out of his hiding place and roughly deposited in the middle of a clearing. The shinobi squatted down in front of him and spoke.

"If I find out that you are lying, I'll make sure you'll suffer so much pain that you'd wish you never had lied to me in the first place."

The steely voice sent chills down his spine and suddenly the inside of his mouth felt like cotton stuffings. He watched the shinobi use a summoning jutsu and send out a few snakes.

Wait?

Snakes?

Shawn stared in horror as the shinobi removed his ANBU mask and pined him with cold, blood red eyes.

"You'll probably be dead in a few minutes. So I see no reason to be so cautious around a weakling like you." He gave Shawn a haughty smirk and the boy-turned-girl gaped at the face of the person he'd hated forever.

Sasuke Uchiha?!

* * *

Shawn wiggled his toes. Sasuke had bound his wrists and ankles way too tightly. He was still in shock that Sasuke was an ANBU serving Konoha. After all, Sasuke had hated Konoha for what had happened to his family…

Shawn watched the Uchiha as the latter calmly sharpened a kunai. Shawn frowned as he noticed something off about the ANBU. Was he being cautious around Shawn or were his eyes always red? He looked a lot like Itachi Uchiha with the ever-present Sharingan.

As if sensing something Shawn couldn't, Sasuke stood up all of a sudden. Two more ANBU appeared out of the tree cover. The dark uniform wrapped tight around their torso made it apparent that they both were kunoichi. Very _attractive_ kunoichi. Shawn expected his body to react, but then remembering his altered state, ended up sulking.

"Put your mask back on, baka!" one of the kunoichi admonished. She had long pink hair held back in a high ponytail. Was that Sakura Haruno? Her companion had long blond hair pulled back in a similar style. It was possibly Yamanaka Ino.

Sasuke didn't even bother replying, settling her argument with a cocky look instead. Sakura huffed and looked away and he glanced expectantly at Ino.

"Sure, sure." She rolled her eyes, coming to stand in front of Shawn. The next second, his world went black.

* * *

Shawn's lids felt heavy, like he was waking from a very long coma. He remembered a horrid dream about him turning up in the Naruto world as a girl. He also remembered something else, a conversation with Elenista.

"Ugh! I resent you Shawn! Why do you hate Sasuke so much? It's Kishimoto's fault that you guys see him as worthless and evil! If he was given the chance I bet your shiny little Haku keychain that Sasuke would be awesomer than Naruto!"

"…you wish Elen. You wish!"

*huff* "You'll see!"

"I don't think so…"

"I'll make you see!"

"…How?"

"That's a secret~"

Shawn found it weird that he was remembering Elenista all of a sudden. They hadn't talked in a while. She'd moved to Eleadora city months ago. He could only hope that she was staying out of trouble.

Stretching slightly, he decided to get up and opened his eyes, only to shut them once again.

No. No. Nononononononononono.

He was still stuck in the damn Naruto world in that damn female form!

Ugh!

* * *

Shawn wasn't tied up anymore, which surprised him. He looked around to find Ino sitting on a rock and staring at him with sharp blue eyes. Her mask was off too.

"Shawn, eh?" she smirked. Her eyes glinted with the look of a predator.

Shawn felt his insides squelch. What do I do What do I do What do I do What do I do?

"Relax, sissy pants. I'm not gonna hurt'cha."

Shawn croaked out a thanks as she neared him. She had dived into his mind so must know everything that'd happened. And yet she was willing to spare him… Why ?

As if sensing the question, she grinned with all her teeth.

"This is really interesting. I can see you're not really a threat to us so I'm letting you off the hook. But! You must provide enough entertainment! Otherwise I'm going to spill to Sasuke-kun." She smirked again.

Shawn watched the devil in a woman's guise walk away and be replaced by Sasuke and Sakura. Ino must've told them something because Sasuke wasn't looking as hostile anymore. They looked over at Shawn and Sasuke sighed dejectedly, murmuring to Sakura.

The pink haired Kunoichi came to stand near Shawn. "Hello, I'm sorry that you've lost your memory. But don't worry, we'll find a way to get you home. I'm Sakura Haruno by the way. Can you remember your name?" she said kindly.

Shawn felt himself blush. "I'm Sh- Sousanna."

Sakura's eyebrows shot up. "That's a very unique name."

Mortification ate away at his mind. His girlfriend would kill him if she knew he was using her mother's name. But that was the only name he could remember that started with an S. Sakura straightened up and left, whispering something to Sasuke who came to stand in front of Shawn.

"Sousanna," he said gently. The look in his red eyes had also become softer. He cautiously extended a hand in front of her-him, Shawn corrected his mind with irritation. Although using that form of speech wouldn't exactly be incorrect…..

Sasuke got impatient and reached out to take the woman's hand and help her stand. He then put on his mask and crouched down. 'Climb on my back. I need to carry you to safety. This is no place for you to stay and I don't think you can keep up if we were to run."

Realizing he was right, 'Sousanna' climbed onto his back, clutching his shoulders to keep herself from slipping. Sasuke stood up and held onto her legs. The feeling of his rough calloused fingers on her bare legs caused a fierce blush to rise up her face.

"Brace yourself," Sasuke warned as he broke out in a sprint.

* * *

Shawn felt weird. His past seemed like a distant dream. His life, his family and friends, his girlfriend, his past and future… All seemed blurred. Only the present existed. The present where being a woman and getting a piggy back ride from Sasuke Uchiha was a rather pleasant experience. He felt like he really _was_ a girl named Sousanna. The strange urge to forget everything and just dwell on the now overwhelmed his mind and he felt his mind scatter, letting go of Shawn and embracing Sousanna. Another wave of black hit and the speeding Shinobi felt the girl on his back fall limp.

* * *

After going full speed for nearly six hours, Sasuke stopped to take a breather. Sousanna was fast asleep on his back. He gently put her down on a soft spread of grass and stood up to stretch his sore muscles. He squinted at his surrounding. There was far too much fog in the forest. And it wasn't even that late yet…

He moved back in a flash to block the sleeping woman from an oncoming senbon attack. His heart beat faster. Why would she be targeted? Unless…

Someone moved in the late afternoon shadows cast by the trees and Sasuke shifted on his toes, only to come face to face with another masked shinobi. He automatically raised his kunai as the stranger made to throw another set of senbon.

As soon as his eyes took in his opponent, Sasuke felt his eyes go large and he relaxed his stance, sighing with exasperation.

"Haku," He grumbled, although his lips twisted up in a smirk. "This bad habit of surprising me will cost you your life, someday."

"But not today." Calmly answered the mist shinobi, reaching out to pull off his mask, revealing an angelic face. Sasuke followed suit and they were both left smirking each other with a friendly air.

"I see you finally got yourself a woman." Haku commented offhandedly, focusing on the woman's long legs. She was still asleep. Sasuke coughed and looked away. "It's not what it looks like," he bit out. "She's lost her memory and I'm just taking her to Yuuko."

"Too bad." Haku replied without looking away from her legs. "I was thinking of stealing her away from you."

The statement irritated Sasuke more than it should, and it unnerved him. He'd only met the woman a few hours ago and knew nothing except her name. Yet, he felt fascinated. She seemed unreal. And her eyes… They made him want to protect her from the world.

The woman in question stirred and started to wake up. Haku tensed, but Sasuke put a hand on his shoulder, wordlessly telling him that she was harmless. She sat up, blinked a few times and noticed Haku.

Sasuke was puzzled as he saw recognition flash in her eyes and then confusion taking it's place. He decided Haku probably looks like someone she knew. He stepped out from behind Haku and introduced them to each other.

"Nice to meet you, Sousanna-san." Haku said warmly and bent down to kiss her knuckles. Watching her blush fiercely at the unnecessary action made Sasuke want to growl. Although the barely there smirk on Haku's face told him that he was doing it to get a rise from Sasuke, so he kept himself in check.

Haku was amused at seeing Sousanna's expression. Her eyes were darting back from him to Sasuke with a confused look. As if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

Haku sighed and straightened. "Would you like me to accompany you? This forest reeks with nukenin." As soon as he'd said that, Sasuke's eyes lit up with gratitude. It wasn't easy to fight while carrying a non-shinobi person. It would be good to have a friend watch his back. He nodded at Haku with gratitude and then got ready to leave once again.

* * *

Sousanna woke up to be greeted by a kiss on her knuckles by an angel.

That was definitely her first reaction when she felt Haku take her hand and press his lips to it. The giddy feeling of happiness that surged through her was like a tsunami and she felt as if her face would melt from the heated blush. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Sasuke look away with a frown.

Why did Sasuke look so pissed? And … Why did that bother her so much?

She forgot her worry as both Haku and Sasuke prepared to leave once more. Surrounded by two handsome shinobi, Sasuke (someone she hated once but really he wasn't so bad. Why on earth did she hate him again?) and Haku (someone she loved to death), she fought to keep her blush down. A nagging voice in the back of her head was trying to tell her something but she didn't pay any heed to it. So when Sasuke got tired after another couple of hours of running and Haku took up the task of carrying her, she didn't fight the shiver that came from Haku's freezing fingers gripping her legs.

* * *

Haku was enjoying feeling the smooth skin of her legs and the murderous glare that Sasuke was shooting at him. He was used to sparring with him but fighting over a woman (and winning, from the looks of it) felt different. Better somehow.

He slowed as Sasuke signaled to stop for the night. It was interesting to see them interact. The young Uchiha obviously felt attracted to the girl, and vice versa. He was restraining himself for the sake of being proper. But why was Sousanna restraining herself? Must be the memory loss, he concluded. Although that didn't explain why she wasn't resisting Haku. He chuckled at the thought. The woman had been ready to melt into a pile of mush when he's kissed her hand.

The silence between his two companions was so filled with sexual tension that he mused if it could be cut with one of Naruto's chopsticks. He decided to break it, and do so in style.

"How's Sakura chan and Hinata chan?" he asked innocently and felt like laughing at the look on his face.

"Fine." Sasuke spat.

"Really? I haven't seen either of them since the wedding. How are they coping? Oh… Excuse me. I shouldn't bring that up in front of a guest. She probably doesn't know about Sakura-chan."

"I know Sakura Haruno," said Sousanna. "I saw her today. She seemed like a very nice person. Please tell me more about her!"

The sudden outburst from the petit girl surprised Haku. She was quiet until now. Her voice had a nice ring to it, he noticed.

"Hmm, where to begin? You see, Sasuke-kun here grew up with Sakura-chan and another boy named Naruto. I became friends with them a lot later because I'm from another village," He smiled a little at that. "Sakura-chan recently got married to Hinata-chan, another girl from their village." He finished with another dazzling smile.

Haku looked straight at Sousanna but he could feel Sasuke glaring a hole in his head. With that, he deemed his job well done and retreated up onto a branch of the closest tree. "I'll take the first watch!" he cheerily informed the two of them. None bothered to answer back. He let out a hearty chuckle when he was sure neither would hear.

* * *

The first ray of sunshine trickled in through the canopy and the travelers woke, finishing breakfast with some dried fruit and getting ready to set off again. Sasuke shot a heated glare at Haku that seemed to say, 'Keep your hands off!' as he helped a drowsy Sousanna onto his back and sped away. Haku suppressed a chuckle and followed closely behind.

Sousanna yawned into Sasuke's shoulder, earning a shiver from the shinobi that went unnoticed by her.

"You said you're taking me to see Yuuko. Who is she? And how is she gonna help me get back my memories?"

"Yuuko-san is a witch," Haku said nonchalantly. "She can grant any wish, albeit for a price."

"But what am I gonna give her for returning me home?" She said anxiously.

"We'll see," Haku said in a cryptic tone. "You just need to pass through the door."

Sousanna frowned, but let it go. Sasuke shifted his grip on her legs. "We're almost there." He said in a gentle whisper.

She could see a house in the distance. A tiny little cottage in the middle of the never ending forest. Sasuke dropped her and then stepped back, silently urging her to go through the arched entrance.

Fear gripping her heart, she stepped in.

Nothing happened.

She heard both Haku and Sasuke sigh in relief. She looked back, pleading them to accompany her, but Sasuke shook his head.

"Sorry, only those who have a wish can go through." He said in an apologetic tone. Sousanna gulped and quietly stepped inside the cottage.

* * *

As soon as Sousanna saw the woman reclining on the couch, she was hit with a sudden onslaught of memories. She groaned and slid to the floor, clutching her head. The woman-probably the one named Yuuko- just smiled like a fox and watched. And suddenly, suddenly, Sousanna remembered.

* * *

Shawn watched in horror as Elenista waltzed around in the room drawing some kind of design on the floor. He tried to move but the duct tape binding him and making sure his mouth was shut only got tighter. He groaned to get her attention. She whirled to look at him with a crazy glint on her eyes.

"Don't worry Shawn dear, I'm just making sure you get so see what it feels like to be a girl attracted to Sasuke Uchiha, that's all! Although you'd probably be more interested in Haku!" she cackled. "Don't worry," She assured him again and wrapped something around his wrist. "This'll bring you back," she smiled sadly and moved away. Next thing Shawn knew, he'd been pushed into the centre of the design and the world around him morphed.

* * *

Shawn remembered falling in front of Yuuko after being transported from his room. After that everything was a blur. Yuuko had told him that Elenista had sacrificed quite a few of her magical heirlooms to send him to the Naruto world and temporarily turning him into a girl.

Shawn looked up to the Yuuko. She was smiling in a knowing manner. She wordlessly pointed her smoking pipe to his wrist.

Shawn looked carefully at the thin silver chain. "You can go back to your home when you take it off. Once you return home, You'll automatically turn into a man again. But!" she said as Shawn was already undoing the clutch of the bracelet, "Don't you think you should thank the nice boys out there who helped you so much?" she looked at him sternly. Feeling ashamed, Shawn walked out.

"Well?" they both asked with enthusiasm. Shawn noticed how they both looked exhausted from carrying and caring for her- him. He looked at them with a smile. "You're both wonderful shinobi. Thank you for taking care of me."

The shinobi looked on as she took off the bracelet and vanished into thin air.

* * *

"Dude, what the hell was that?" Haku said in a deadpan voice.

"I dunno." Sasuke mimicked his tone.

Haku shook out of the stupor. "Wanna go join Naruto at Ichiraku?"

"Sounds like a plan."

The two ANBU vanished simultaneously with puffs of smoke.

Inside the house, Yuuko's laughter rang out.

* * *

Sakiko found a very confused Shawn sprawled in the floor of his bedroom. Thinking he'd fallen from his bed, she rushed to help him up. Once she was sure her boyfriend hadn't sustained any injury, she reminded him of their date.

"You're supposed to take me to see that new Naruto movie!" she pouted. "I know you don't wanna watch it because Sasuke plays a big role in the plot but Haku's there too!"

Shawn shook his head. "Sorry, honey. I swear it's not about Sasuke but I think I had enough Naruto to last me a lifetime".

-OWARI-


End file.
